Have you ever heard of Murphy’s Law? It means that anything that can go wrong — will.
Have you ever heard of Cole’s Law? It’s thinly sliced cabbage.
Do you know how hard I get hit for that joke? I love it though. I love it so much. The last time I told it, Izzy cackled ginger beer out his nose and Pryn just took my face in her hands and say “Darling. Sweetie. Light of my life. I try so so very hard to love you. Why must you make it difficult?”
So! This is an amazing, simple treat that I learned from a Gilnean ex-Lord, Nathaniel James. He used to tell me that up that far north in the rocky crags, all you got were chicken and sheep and all you could grow was cabbages. So what do you make with a surplus of eggs and cabbage?
Apparently this. I had to ask, cuz there are no eggs. He explained you can use oil and egg to make the mayonnaise. I’ll have to try that some time.
Anyhow! Cast of characters. This is the fancy noble version, but most of these are ingredients you can find easily at market. We have a medium head of cabbage, two green apples, some apple cider vinegar, two large carrots, some mayonnaise and some raisins. I also have sour cream and celery seeds to give it some extra flair.
My favorite part about this recipe? For as delicious as it is, it’s so heckin’ easy!!! First the sauce. You take all the goopy stuff, the mayonnaise, the sour cream and the vinegar and you mix it together. It’s gonna be really tangy at this point, don’t really rely on the taste until you put it all together. Then mix in the celery seeds and the raisins and mix it all up. That’s it! That’s your base. By adding sour cream and the vinegar, it keeps this from tasting too ‘mayonnaise-y’.
Next you hack stuff up. The hardest part was the cabbage.
And honestly even that’s easy. You peel off the outer few layers that have gotten man handled.
And then you get your biggest knife and hack it in half.
See that stem-looking thing? That’s… that’s the stem. It’s edible, but it has the wrong texture for what we want for this, so go ahead and hack it out. It’s not really an art, just cut around it til it’s not there anymore. You can see on the left I made a sort of wedge and pulled out the hard chunk.
Then slice them into strips, like so. I gave these a rough chop after if they were looking too long. Full confession, I was making this along with the next two week’s recipes at the exact same time and they were more demanding than this. This is so so very easy. I expect everyone to try this at least once before the end of summer! It’s worth it!
Throw the sliced cabbage into the dressing and stir it up to coat. Look how nice those raisins are looking! Even if you don’t like raisins, they are really good in this.
Final steps! Remember that apple? Take the seeds out and cut it into thin chunks. I honestly just ran this through my goblin shredder.
Tangy green apple, I made it small like this, but it will be delicious even in larger chunks. Throw it in the bowl with the cabbage.
Do the same thing with the carrots. You can peel them or not. I’m not a guard, I don’t care. I peel mine. Once they’re shredded, you throw them into the bowl as well.
Toss it all to mix. Now here’s the hardest part. Cover it and chill for about two hours to let the flavors all really mingle. Then dig in!
Ingredients:
- 1/2 cup raisins
- 1/2 tsp celery seeds
- 2 large green apples
- 1 medium head cabbage
- 2 large carrots
- 1 cup mayonnaise
- 1/2 cup sour cream
- 2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
Instructions:
- Mix the mayo, sour cream and vinegar in a bowl
- Add the raisins and celery seeds
- Chop or shred all the vegetables and the apples
- Mix them all together in the sauce
- Chill for at least two hours before serving
Feed the Horde 