Posted in Jax's Crystals and Musings, World of Warcraft

Sixth Crystal

The Crystal starts with frustrated growling, uncharacteristically heavy footfalls treading a line in the floor.

“I can’t breathe. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I don’t… know what’s wrong with me. I’ve been fine. I’ve been fine! I haven’t done anything wrong I –“

The sound of pacing, back and forth, back and forth, rapid, shallow breathing.

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Posted in Meal of the Week, World of Warcraft

Meal of the Day: Gutshot Noodles

AKA Punishment Noodles

Not gonna lie, these are kind of my favorite thing right now. Not to eat, oh Light no. But to watch others eat.


So what you’re looking at is Pandaren noodles in a very spicy broth, accented with, soy, fish sauce and pho seasonings and more Pandaren red spice. Extra onions and topped with peanut-butter cups.

In celebration of me getting shot in the fucking stomach. Never forget.

Yes I’ve tried this. You wanna know what it tastes like? Leave a comment.

Posted in Jax's Crystals and Musings, World of Warcraft

Memory Orb 1: The Not So Great Soulgem Heist

So here’s the thing. With my newly discovered hobby of collecting attempts on my life by strangers, I’ve decided to bite the bullet and start making Memory Orbs as well. I hate doing these, but… If something happens to me, I’d like… Well. I’d like someone to know the whole story.

A year ago…

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Posted in Meal of the Week, World of Warcraft

Meal of the Day: Redridge Mountain Cakes (aka Clapjacks)

I’m so tired of potions right now. And I’m tired of being useless and stuck in bed. I’m getting better, it doesn’t hurt as much and I can get up and walk around but I’m supposed to stay down for as long as I can stand it.

It’s getting hard to stand it.

But this morning… This morning I discovered something magical. And potentially illegal.

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Posted in Jax's Crystals and Musings, Meal of the Week, World of Warcraft

Healer’s Crash Course

Since I’ve been shot, I’ve been a bit obligated to actually pay attention to what Mrs Jean Bendon is trying to teach me. On top of the potions, which I might talk about later, she’s been keeping a poultice on the injury. Since she showed me how to do it, I’m gonna show you. Before anyone asks, no I’m not showing my wound. It’s gross no one wants to see that.

You need three herbs that are pretty common, and honey to bind it. The Thalassian name is in the… Curvy things.


The leaves at the top are Mountain Silversage (white sage). Personally, I love that crap. You can use it for cooking and it makes shit taste good. But it’s really super good for infections. The first day or so I started getting sick and the wound was apparently getting infected. Jean took a whole bunch of these leaves and chewed them up, made me chew some too. They made my mouth tingle. Once they were all broken, she just wadded it into the injury.

It made the skin tingle and stop hurting and when I woke up the next day, it itched like crazy. I don’t have a way to not be gross about this, but when we took it off, the infection had come out and the fever broke. Very cool.

The yellow stuff is Wild Steelbloom (yarrow), it’s apparently good for stopping bleeding and circulation for really deep injuries. It also helps deep wounds heal more cleanly.

The fluffy green stuff is dried Bruiseweed (mugwort). From what I understand it’s for pain relief, speeds healing and helps with bruises and tenderness. It can see a difference on areas where the poultice is as far as the bruise fading. Apparently pregnant women should stay away from it cuz she keeps asking if I’m pregnant. It was funny the first time. She also said something about counter-hex properties but I was too busy being unamused by the fifth pregnancy jab.

Grind it up, mix with honey, slap it on the wound, profit.

Posted in Jax's Crystals and Musings, World of Warcraft

Fifth Crystal

Tinkerpunk music plays on the radio in the background at low volume. “So… I really need to make something clear… When I said ‘If I can survive getting soul burned for a day and a half straight, I can survive anything’…That uh. That really wasn’t a challenge.”

“Fuck where do I start… First off, I’m not telling Pryn. She has enough to deal with right now without worrying about me getting shot.

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