One of my favorite things to do here in Stormwind is to
bring tastes of home to people who have never experienced it. Most of you know
I’m originally from Silvermoon, but I spent a lot of time in both Brill and
outside of Orgrimmar. And sometimes, man do orcs know how to eat.
On Durotar, one thing that there are plenty of is boar. So pork is a huge stable in Durotar orcish cuisine. When you head a bit south though, you come to Razor Hill, a perfect melting pot of Darkspear Trolls and Orcs. With it, comes a delicious mix of trollish spices and orcish meats that everyone needs to experience at least once.
Ah, love is in the air. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told. I’m not exactly an authority on romance lately. What with my girlfriend having more and more trouble staying grounded in reality, the confusion and selfishness of finding someone to fill the void and the realization that now I’m not being fair to two people instead of just one. Or with trying to understand what you’re supposed to do when everyone has an opinion that they insist is the Correct one, but everyone’s opinion is equally Correct and vastly different.
But Love is in the air, and it’s everywhere, from the pink and red heart-shaped pastries and cookies that the bakers lay out with the dawn, to the heart decorations and pink candles that seem to be mandatory for every building to be dolled up with, or the couples holding hands and sneaking kisses and the questions it raises and the prickling fear in your chest what if you’re doing it wrong what if everything is wrong and you’re hurting everyone and maybe you shouldn’t ever have come to Stormwind in the first place.
I don’t have a lot of pleasant memories from growing up, but there’s one that always stands out to me. On occasion, when I was little, my father would take me with him to some of his treks into Dalaran. I remember the smell of old tomes, the crackle of arcane in the air, and how important everyone looked and felt. Acting as my father’s apprentice, I felt important too.
We would always lunch in the Purple Parlor, and while my father would always get something more exotic, like bovine steak or seared scallops with a nice wine of the appropriate color, I always wanted the same thing.
So I dunno if you guys have noticed, but it’s getting cold. Winterveil was pretty cold. Like, bundle up and stay in side watching the snow with someone you love cold. Like snuggle up in a blanket with hot cocoa cold. But First-Month?
First month is ‘it’s too cold to get out of bed to pee’ cold. Like, seriously considering the repercussions of not getting out from under the warm blankets ever. How long can you live without eating?
A while, but it’ll be worth getting up when there’s a hot bowl of Gorgrond Clam Chowder waiting for you.
So, while Pryn and I were struggling to make
money last summer, we came up with the idea to try and scavenge interesting
artifacts from the newly discovered island of Zuldazar. Long story short, she
has an amazing tiara that doubles as an illusion-disguise, my pale ass got a
nice tan (somehow my blond hair got blonder?), and we came back with a lot of
really neat but essentially useless things. With the exception of these weird
green tree eggs.
Now, I have a lot of troll friends, some of the most important people in my life are trolls (Love you, Zan!) but elf throats are NOT designed to speak Zandalari. So I can’t pronounce the name of this egg for the life of me. Avokoto? Avkato? I have no idea. But! My buddy Zan’juul DID show me how to make this AMAZING green egg paste stuff. It doesn’t taste anything like you’d expect and I’m told it’s very healthy, so what a great way to start the New Year.
And it’s going to be a happy and healthy New Year! Remember you’re not alone, you are amazing and I love you.
Seriously. You, person reading this, maybe on your little mage-square avoiding your actual work — maybe in your underwear winding down for bed or maybe trying to wind up for the day — I love you. You are why I do this. And I hope when you’re feeling down, you remember that Jax loves you.
And since this got weirdly emotional, I’m also here for anyone who needs it, just leave me a comment, find me on Twitter @jaxkol, or even shoot me a private email through the Contact page. For real. Does not expire.
When Colin told me that the second thing we’d be making for his traditional New Year’s meal was sprouts, I was… hesitant.
Sprouts are actually in the same family as cabbage, which is why they look and taste like itty bitty cabbages (See Mrs Bendon? I do listen!). I’ve had them before in Darkshore when I was staying with the Bendons but they uh… They weren’t great. They kinda tasted like mushy little balls of fart. Gilnean cooking involves a LOT of boiling and no offense to the Bendons and their incredibly generous hospitality, but not everything does well being boiled.
Colin said that the green represents bank notes which are apparently a big thing in Dalaran. And I guess Gadgetzan, cuz Pryn uses them to. They’re like gold but lighter? Anyhow, and the carmelized onion represents gold. So it’s to bring good fortune to the new year. And the bacon represents… deliciousness. I guess. Always having enough to eat? Yeah let’s go with that.
Either way, these are WAY tastier than fart-sprouts and just as easy to do!