Ya know, if you tell someone you don’t know where the meat came from, they won’t touch it with a ten foot lance. If you call it ‘Mystery Meat’, you can get some of the more adventurous ones to try it out.
But if you put it on a loaf…
…why exactly is it that people are so eager to eat things in a loaf? Someone smarter than me explain.
Loafs of things are fun because they tend to be pretty flexible. Here’s our cast of characters for this one. Two pounds of meat, it doesn’t really matter where it came from. Super popular would be a pound of pork and a pound of beef, you can also use poultry or ground rabbit or yak. If you use lean, add in a bit of fat, but also — we’ll get to that.
Two cups of bread crumbs, you can also used crushed crackers, about one onion, a quarter cup (2 oz) , two eggs, a cup (235 ml) of beef broth, 2 tbsp Wosh…worch… Darkshershire sauce, and some spices. I like a tsp each of garlic powder, parsley, black pepper and salt.
Slice up the onions kinda fine. But of course, this recipe is the most flexible thing ever, so I did it a bit coarse. Then the important part:
Throw all the crap together. Yeah seriously. Really complicated, right?
All the things. Broth and Worsh…warch… Warchiefshire sauce and breadcrumbs. Use a bigger bowl than I did.
So one note on Warchiefshire sauces. There’s a type that comes from Kul Tiras that is just amazing. Darkshireshireshire sauce is really good too, but Kul Tiras Warchiefshire sauce has a different flavor. Worth picking up, try it out!
Now mix them all up! Make a huge mess, and then slap it really hard. The handprint means quality!
So I’m usually pretty against single-use kitchen tools, but this one has been worth the money. It’s basically a loaf pan that has a removable little rack so that the fat drains out. But it works great for pretty much anything you want loaf-shaped, and it’s small, so if you’re so inclined, pick one up. If you’re lacking this, I recommend getting a pan and lining it with foil, then forming it into a loaf right in the middle. This is going to drain some fat, so if you stick it in a regular loaf tray, it’ll bubble over and get greasy. It’ll still taste fine, it just won’t be pretty.
Smoosh it into the tray, then get about another half cup of ketchup, some soy and some Warchiefshire sauce and mix it together. It’s also great with Goblin BBQ sauce or straight ketchup. It’ll caramelize up nicely.
Smear the stuff on it, and then stick it in a 350F/175C. Bake it for about an hour. The top will caramelize into deliciousness and make the house smell insane.
While that’s happening, let’s make a side. On the request of one of my Kul Tiran patrons, I made mashed rutabaga. Apparently Tirasgarde is a bit rocky, so what can you grow in rocks? Rutabagas. Apparently.
These are rutabagas! Also called wax turnips in some regions. They’re a bit weird, but really easy to cook.
First hack them in half. If you have a cleaver, use it. They’re a lot denser than a potato. We also need to peel these. Don’t bother breaking out your potato peeler, these buggers have thick skins. This is how I peel it:
Cut the half into half-moons. This will make it easier to cut the peels away from each section.
Cut away about a millimeter from the edge, you should be able to see the thickness of the peel. Just cut it off and continue slicing the pieces into about one-inch cubes. We’re gonna boil the fel right out of them.
Slice em up and into the pot! Boil them while the meatloaf is in the oven, or until they pierce easily with a fork. Then just smoosh them all up and throw in a big scoop of butter and some salt.
I gotta say, rutabagas are really tasty. They taste very similar to potatoes, but they’re oddly fresh-tasting. I love it.
If you did this right, the loaf should be done around the same time as the mash.
Look at that carmelly, cracky crust. YUM.
Let it cool about ten minutes, then slice it up and serve.
YUM!! I like a bit of extra Goblin BBQ sauce on mine. Absolutely delicious.
- 2 lbs mystery meat
- 2 eggs
- 2 cups bread crumbs
- 1 cup broth
- 1 medium onion (diced)
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 tsp black pepper
- 1 tsp garlic
- 1 tsp parsley
- 1/4 cup ketchup
- Anything else you can think of! Get creative!
- Ketchup, BBQ sauce or whatever strikes your fancy for the top. Both are valid.
- Preheat the oven to 350F/175C
- Smoosh everything but the topping goop together
- Really get in there and smoosh it. Oh yeah.
- Slap it and get a hand print in it
- Stick into a pan
- Cover with the topping goop
- Bake for about an hour. Start checking after 50 minutes
- Let it sit for 10 minutes to ensure it holds its shape.
- Chow down