You know a dish is ingrained in a culture when you ask how to make it any you get told that one — there is no recipe, you just inherently know how to do it and two — no not like that, move over let me show you.
Rice is easy to grow on the Echo Isles, and Trolls are known for their intense spices. When I approached my good friend Zan’juul and asked him how to make this, I had no idea it would be an ordeal. It turns out there are as many ways to make this as there are Troll tribes and my simply asking ‘how make the yum food’ was enough to spark a debate.
How do you know who to listen to? Whichever Troll looks most likely to eat you — that’s why you obey. I don’t make the rules.
for you are crunchy and good with sauce
Candy is dandy but meat is sweet! In Orgrimmar, lollipops mean two things. First, of course, is the delicious hard candy on a stick. But as one Orc guard pointed out to me, lollipops are you just flavoring your own spit as a snack. Charming. And now I can’t look at hard candy the same way.
The second kind of lollipop is a way of preparing poultry. By wedging the meat down towards the head of the bone, it gives you bare bone to hold onto and all the meat at one end for better access. Yes, this sounds simple enough — and it is — but it makes it pretty convenient, especially with the bigger cuts of meat like plainstrider.
But strider is a bit of a pain to wrestle with, so today we’re going to work with chicken!
Ya know, if you tell someone you don’t know where the meat came from, they won’t touch it with a ten foot lance. If you call it ‘Mystery Meat’, you can get some of the more adventurous ones to try it out.
But if you put it on a loaf…
…why exactly is it that people are so eager to eat things in a loaf? Someone smarter than me explain.
Ah, love is in the air. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told. I’m not exactly an authority on romance lately. What with my girlfriend having more and more trouble staying grounded in reality, the confusion and selfishness of finding someone to fill the void and the realization that now I’m not being fair to two people instead of just one. Or with trying to understand what you’re supposed to do when everyone has an opinion that they insist is the Correct one, but everyone’s opinion is equally Correct and vastly different.
But Love is in the air, and it’s everywhere, from the pink and red heart-shaped pastries and cookies that the bakers lay out with the dawn, to the heart decorations and pink candles that seem to be mandatory for every building to be dolled up with, or the couples holding hands and sneaking kisses and the questions it raises and the prickling fear in your chest what if you’re doing it wrong what if everything is wrong and you’re hurting everyone and maybe you shouldn’t ever have come to Stormwind in the first place.
But we’re not going to think about that.
Tonight we’re going to think about Love!
For just one day
So I dunno if you guys have noticed, but it’s getting cold. Winterveil was pretty cold. Like, bundle up and stay in side watching the snow with someone you love cold. Like snuggle up in a blanket with hot cocoa cold. But First-Month?
First month is ‘it’s too cold to get out of bed to pee’ cold. Like, seriously considering the repercussions of not getting out from under the warm blankets ever. How long can you live without eating?
A while, but it’ll be worth getting up when there’s a hot bowl of Gorgrond Clam Chowder waiting for you.
Continue reading “Meal of the Week – Gorgrond Clam Chowder”
So two very important things: Don’t expect anything that comes with instructions from a Laughing Skull Orc to be easy. And don’t expect it to come out pretty. This week’s recipe was Ravager Dogs from a good friend of mine, Korgraath Crotchgore, and it comes all the way from Gorgrond. Don’t ask him the story behind that sirname. Just trust me.
These dogs were ugly as fel, but man did they taste good. Unfortunately Korgraath’s instructions left a lot to be desired, so hopefully I can help you learn from my mistakes for this delicious dog. Crunchy with just a little bit of spice and an interesting fresh flavor, these are definitely worth it. I hope to revisit it later with a better method once I’ve experimented a bit more.
Continue reading “Meal of the Week: Ravager Dogs”
So, while Pryn and I were struggling to make
money last summer, we came up with the idea to try and scavenge interesting
artifacts from the newly discovered island of Zuldazar. Long story short, she
has an amazing tiara that doubles as an illusion-disguise, my pale ass got a
nice tan (somehow my blond hair got blonder?), and we came back with a lot of
really neat but essentially useless things. With the exception of these weird
green tree eggs.
Now, I have a lot of troll friends, some of the most important people in my life are trolls (Love you, Zan!) but elf throats are NOT designed to speak Zandalari. So I can’t pronounce the name of this egg for the life of me. Avokoto? Avkato? I have no idea. But! My buddy Zan’juul DID show me how to make this AMAZING green egg paste stuff. It doesn’t taste anything like you’d expect and I’m told it’s very healthy, so what a great way to start the New Year.
And it’s going to be a happy and healthy New Year! Remember you’re not alone, you are amazing and I love you.
Seriously. You, person reading this, maybe on your little mage-square avoiding your actual work — maybe in your underwear winding down for bed or maybe trying to wind up for the day — I love you. You are why I do this. And I hope when you’re feeling down, you remember that Jax loves you.
And since this got weirdly emotional, I’m also here for anyone who needs it, just leave me a comment, find me on Twitter @jaxkol, or even shoot me a private email through the Contact page. For real. Does not expire.