Posted in Jax's Crystals and Musings, World of Warcraft

First Crystal

“Okay… is this working? I think it’s working. Hi! Oh. Wait you can’t see that. Uh. My name is Jax. Or Jack, apparently. Because I’m singular.

…whatever that means.

Anyhow, so like, Bhordis made this for me when I was living in the barracks and Vyn sent it in my newest care package. I don’t know how it works – well I mean I do. You push the button and talk and the little crystal thing does something and then you can make it play your voice back and stuff – but not like. The details. Well. I mean. Okay, like SOME of the details. It’s brown wood and brass and has a crystal thing and looks like… Very very dwarven. Probably because it is. But not like. How it WORKS. Ya know?

I feel like this is not what I’m supposed to be talking about. Let’s try again. I’m Jax. Or Jack. I’m an elf – knife-ear, not tree-hugger. Wait is that racist? I don’t know. Vyn brought me to Stormwind – well actually he brought me to Dalaran where I got all fancified and THEN I went to Stormwind with Mr Bendon who is trying to protect me from my mother and fix all her stuff. I don’t really feel like talking about her right now. But the thing is, I ended up in this tavern instead, called the Golden Keg and…

You ever have those moments when your life just changes? Like… One word is spoken and suddenly you know nothing is going to be the same. It was… It’s sort of like that. I’ve had a good amount of those. When I failed my first test in the Fel arts. When I broke the circle. The first time I snuck into that fur-traders wagon and he ‘accidentally’ left food out. No one sleeps that hard dude… thank you… The first time that Vyn and I really looked at each other from behind those bars. Like he was really seeing me for the first time. Like he saw something in me that I didn’t. Something of value. Light I fought him so hard, but… I’m starting to think I understand what he saw. I don’t want to say ‘potential’ that’s too strong a word. Whatever a step below potential is. Possibility?

But walking in that door. That was another one of those moments. I can’t… describe it. I see flashes of people I didn’t yet realize would be so important to me. Weird green glasses. Red eyes. Blue skin, purple skin, scars, smiles, wariness. It’s a blur. I remember there was concern, but it wasn’t aimed at me. It was aimed… for me? It was this weird sense of protection from people who didn’t even know me.”

There’s a long silence, broken only by the soft creak of wooden joints and the shifting of fabric as he gets more comfortable.

“I guess I still don’t get it. They protect me… They help me. They – they’re genuine about it. They gave me a job – fuck, they gave me a fucking room. And I have food to eat. Like. Seriously, whenever I want. I need to get better about that, I still wait too long. Maybe I need a schedule or something. I dunno.

The point is, I don’t understand them. I don’t understand the ‘why’. But I understand that I love them and I’m grateful – fuck I’m so… so grateful. And I need to do everything I can to repay them. To be useful. Valuable. Not just some runty kid who hangs around too much.”

 A low sigh. The sound of compulsive fidgeting, something being picked at, picked apart. “I’ll figure it out. I always do. It’ll prove that I’m useful. I’ll prove that it’s worth it. And until then… I’ll keep recording these. Because maybe, in the end, if things don’t go how Vyn plans… Maybe they’ll find these and know how important they are to me.

Maybe.

Probably not… Either way… I think that’s enough for now. How do I turn this thing back of—“

Author:

Just you're basic -cough-'dorei tryin' to make it in Azeroth.

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